My Top Ten Memorable Hospital Moments 2/09

10. Bryan and Selah and Dicey keeping my spirits up while I am in labor- Bryan's joke about "Mytube" and "YouSpace" cracks us all up.

9. Our beautiful Asian nurse helping me to get Max latched on properly for the first time- upon seeing my naked breast declares that I have "awesome anatomy!".

8. The two most unexpected and no-one-told-me aspects of labor:
Uncontrollable shivering- harder than any other time in my life- but not really feeling cold, and
being so curled up on my back and pushing so hard that I stimulate my gag reflex and repeatedly puke water and rainbow popsicle all over my sister (the best labor cheerleader ever).

7. Getting up out of bed many hours after birth and not being able to walk properly but needing to use the restroom- Jack helps me and I am shocked at the sheer volume of liquid that leaves my body with seemingly no help from me whatsoever. It continues to sound like I am pouring a pitcher of water into the toilet (even after I feel like I should be finished and able to get up) for at least 2 days.

6. Going through a contraction in the bathroom with my husband (who was helping me navigate through all the accoutrement of giving birth in a hospital) and being so overwhelmed by pain and the gravity of the situation- feeling a bit helpless and scared- that I cried. Jack is a wonderful labor coach and is big and strong and comforting with gentle bear hugs and back rubs through all my contractions.

5. Discovering two immediate joys of breastfeeding: the little squooshy satisfied faces that Max makes when he's full and the unbelievable doughy softness of his cheeks when he's content as I kiss them for the first of many many times.

4. The feeling of the epidural taking effect- like being in a bath and feeling the water fill up around your legs but without feeling wet or any temperature change. This coupled with the feeling of the epidural in full swing where your legs feel like they're asleep when they're still but there is no prickling discomfort when you do move.

3. The knowledge that with the next push I will finally be able to project this little human into the world after having been in some form of labor on and off for close to 24 hours and then pushing for nearly 2.

2. My breakdown and Jack's turning point on our very first full night with our new baby:

Our son had been too cold earlier in the day- (due to a meddling nurse turning down our A/C) and in the middle of the night he was too cold again. Our favorite nurse wanted to give me a chance to warm him up before having to take him away to the NICU again. I was to have skin-on-skin contact with him for awhile and she would come back to check his temp in an hour or so. Please keep in mind that I am at this point really hot myself because of hormones and am already uncomfortable, sweaty and exhausted.

Still new at nursing and only knowing one hold (which I have not mastered by any stretch of the imagination) my tiny crying naked son is placed in my arms. I try to cover his body entirely with the blanket while simultaneously trying to hold my arms and my breast correctly for him to be able to latch on- every little gap in the blanket upsets me to my core and he is still crying and I can't manage to feed him. Jack (who is wonderful) has up to this point been there for me but not entirely- the situation has not fully sunk in until I am naked and sobbing trying desperately to get our son warm and stop his crying and not managing either one.

As if a switch has been turned on- Jack suddenly is a dream of comfort and aide. He holds the blanket while I get Max properly latched on. He makes sure that the rest of me is uncovered because I am so hot that I am sweating through pillows. He makes me drink water when I don't even realize I need it and he magically and repeatedly produces cool wet washcloths and places them on key body parts- my ankles- the back of my neck- the small of my back- etc. He even rewets them when he has determined that they have leached too much heat from me and aren't as cool anymore.

Marie comes back and determines that I have warmed him up enough and that we can keep Max in our room.

After total misery and despair I am suddenly relieved and renewed. From this point forward we are in this together, as an indominable team. Jack remains more attentive then I could have ever hoped or imagined throughout his two weeks of leave.

1. Of course- the actual birth of my son- the thumb in cheek popping sound of his head emerging followed by the feel of his slippery little shoulders. Watching this in the mirror is a memory I will cherish forever as a moment of absolute triumph and joy.