Car Drama

Yesterday was traumatic- probably moreso for me than for Max in the long run though.

After an uneventful day and shopping trip on the way to the Douglas home we had an incident in the car. He had just started to wake up in his carseat on the drive from his nice long nap so I knew he would be hungry- but until I could get to a good feeding location I was armed with his pacifier. However- he didn't seem to want it and just kept crying and I didn't know why and couldn't do anything about it.


THEN I discover dots of what looks like yellow ochre paint on his hand, the outside of his pacifier, his ear- all over the place- tiny little dots. His diaper had leaked out one leg hole and he had managed to get his hand in it. So he's really upset and we're getting to Selah's as quickly as possible- Jack calls ahead so she can have wipes at the ready.


I whisk him inside while Jack cleans up the carseat and take him to Selah's changing table and get his diaper off while Selah gets a bath ready and then we plop him in there onesie and all and Selah cleans him up.


Dear reader- my baby cries- I'm okay with this and prepared for it- babies cry because they can't talk or express themselves in any way- I just do my best to identify the source and administer solutions and comfort- generally to much success.

Yesterday my baby SCREAMED in that bath. It was loud- louder than I thought he was capable of- it surprised both Selah and I- she said it sounded like an adult screaming. I don't know if he was angry or scared or both- but I hope never to hear it again.


We got him naked in a towel and I nursed him quickly after that and things were much better- it was like it had never happened. He borrowed some clothes from his cousin and we proceeded to have our evening with family.

He was a bit fussy for the rest of the evening though- not really commiting to nursing, not hanging on to his pacifier- not really wanting to play for long (except when he laid down next to Dicey- so cute)


So, we were taking him home and about a third of the way home he started to cry again and wouldn't take his pacifier. Let me tell you- I am really looking forward to pumping and being able to feed him in the car quicky if he needs it.


We pull over to better address his distress and I discover that he is too hot in his carseat and has also what appears to be another leaking dirty diaper. However- my dear husband, who packed our diaper bag with several diapers before we left- more than we would normally need- informed me that we had run out.


I had gotten my baby cool and adjusted the air (the carseat is tricky to temp control because it blocks so much of the a/c when installed correctly) but I couldn't change his diaper and he was still upset- and not wanting to eat. I had to put an unhappy baby back into his carseat and ride home with the knowledge that I couldn't do anything for him yet. It was heartbreaking and I cried all the way home trying to talk to him until he wore himself out, stopped crying and sort of napped.


We got home and I got him inside and naked and changed into a fresh diaper (which was not in fact dirty- there was a stain on his onesie that lied) and did some skin on skin nursing to comfort him and again- it was like it had never happened. We had a normal night and he's happy and calm just like he usually is.


He appears to have forgiven me but I'm still working on forgiving myself.